Meet the Cute But Deadly Portal 2 Sentry Turrent Toy

There have been many toys based on popular computer games, but we think this one from ThinkGeek is likely to be one of the cutest. The price doesn’t break the bank either at $39.99, making for a great Christmas stocking filler!

thinkgeek_portal_2_sentry_turret_usb_desk_defenderIt’s an officially licensed turret from Valve’s massively popular Portal 2 action puzzler. Beautifully self importantly called the Portal 2 Sentry Turret USB Desk Defender, it’s 7.5″ in height and plugs into your PCs USB port which allows it to perform a range of actions, such as opening its side panels and “firing” at moving targets (you) plus “dying” when it’s knocked over, complete with the right jiggling motion and sound effects. There’s no software to install either, as it’s fully automated – just like the real thing.

Talking of sound effects, it will say various things, all taken from the original sound samples in the game. If it detects nearby motion, then it will ominously say things like “Target acquired” and “There you are”. If it’s moved or knocked over, you’ll be treated to such delights as “Critical error” and “I don’t hate you” (It damned well does!) and finally if you ignore the poor thing for 30 seconds it will ask, all innocently. “Are you still there?”. But you better not be…


We have a soft spot for turrets… even though they riddled us with holes on many an occasion. They’re just so cute with their little voices and their red eyes. Cute and deadly. That’s why we have Plush Turrets, Flashlight Turrets, Inflatable Turrets, and now, the Sentry Turret Desk Defender!

Strike fear into the hearts of your enemies (or coworkers) with your very own Turret Desk Defender, powered by USB. When it detects movement, the wings open and it will announce the acquisition of a target, which is enough to send anyone running away from your desk at top speed. And yes, if you knock it over, it’ll vibrate and be sad about its lot in life.


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